I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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