i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
