Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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