i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
