Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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