What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize