you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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