Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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