I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize