Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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