Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
