I hate your face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
