he puts the penis in happiness.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont even know how to be here
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
