At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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