Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
