He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
