puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
