If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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