if i can run in heels then i can drive
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
