Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
