I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish I only lived at night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
