She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
