i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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