Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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