you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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