i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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