a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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