i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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