JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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