I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
