Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
