We're like a lot better than the average bears
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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