Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
