My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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