i jhust puked up my retainher.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
