I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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