So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
