3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize