Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
