Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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