ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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