I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
