I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
