i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
