Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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