i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need a beard to bite.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
