I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
