i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
