New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
