I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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