YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
