You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
