Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
