it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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