I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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