Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
