She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Shame is for Republicans.
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