I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
