This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".