so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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