It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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