I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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