just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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