She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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