your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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