I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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