Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
