that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize