I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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