I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize